Friday, February 11, 2011

Happy Birthday.

My dad lost his battle with cancer on June 6th, 2010. Less than one year ago. Absolutely by far, the worst day of my life. I was very close to my grandma, who i lost on Dec 1, 09 and that was a very tough time. However, this is different for me. The older I got, the closer we got. He got to meet my children (not that i ever imagined he wouldn't). Him and Riley had a relationship like no other. The love between those two was enough to make my heart skip a few beats. When Ayden came along, my dad jumped right in there and formed that strong bond with him as well. I never thought for one moment, that those days would end so soon. When my dad got sick; I know this because he told me, that he was scared to and didnt want to leave them - not yet. That replays in my head all the time. The kids, i believe understand that pappy is gone and we will not see him again until we go to heaven. We talk to him, tell them stories about him, but even they also have their moments. When I am having one of mine (if it happens to be unstopped around the children), Riley will be right there hugging me and assuring me its ok because i have her, daddy, and Ayden. She is right. I wouldn't get dressed somedays if it wouldn't be for them. The last 2 weeks have been the toughest for me. Not having dad around for Aydens birthday, my brothers 40th birthday party, today his birthday, and next week Rileys 5th birthday party has finally caught up and came right on crashing down. It's hard. Something that made my day a little better was a beautiful bouquet of flowers and the best words I could read on a card delivered to me at work. Thank you Tim for being there. Thank you Riley and Ayden. I definately do have the best family. Thank you dad for all of the great memories you left me with. Happy first birthday in heaven.


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